To be noted

I know I need to manage to sit still long enough to be able to document this.

I'm grinning. Nothing matters. I want to laugh. I want to snicker. I want to skip down the hall. I can't read unless I really force myself. And then I need to do it like I'm part of some secret plot. I'm singing along with the radio. I'm dancing at my desk. I would get up and skip around my cubicle if somebody wouldn't look at me funny. Actually, I don't know if I would care if somebody would look at me funny.

I've been jumpy for the last few days. But not like this. My thoughts are coming so fast that I can't really grasp any of them. I'm not pressured yet.

This morning walking to work, I thought "Today is going to get nice because I'm smiling". Note to self: the weather is utterly independent of my mood.

Wow, I'm using the backspace button a lot. My fingers aren't behaving really well.

Irene, a lady I work with, just interrupted me and now I have no clue what I was talking about. Gone. Whoosh.

I want to call Jenn. No reason or purpose. Just to call. I don't even know what I would say. I can't hold onto anything long enough to decide what to talk about.

This is like the other night, I'm not sure which one it was, maybe monday evening. I couldn't decide what to do. I wanted to read 4 books. I wanted to play sims. I wanted to cross stitch. And I wanted to do it all at once. Nick keep suggesting things and I just wanted to do more and more. I felt like I was going to burst from being pulled in too many directions. I figured since I wanted to read so many books (mostly because they were new and the covers were pretty) that I should read. Rather than starting a new book, I picked up the one that I have been reading for a little while. I went for a bath. They are so calming. I was okay. I went to bed after that.

PS. I had the most terrible migrain yesterday. It really started Tuesday night. It was so bad that I couldn't open my eyes, have the window open (street traffic) or move. My brain felt like it was bouncing against my skull every time I moved. It's all kind of funny because your brain doesn't actually have any pain receptors in it, no matter how bad it hurts sometimes.

I would never be able to hand write this. My pen can't move that fast. And now I feel like I can't stop typing. It's nice to see my thoughts flowing across the computer screen instead of just bouncing around inside my head.

I have a doctors a pointment next week. I should take this entry with me. I think she will want to know that I'm currently manic. Possibly more pronounced form of mania than I have ever experienced before and it feels fantastic. I need a project. I have so much energy.

Tonight is Rose's (nick's cousin) gallery openning at the uofa hospital art gallery. All of Nick's family is going to be there. I'm going to make a fool of myself. I'll have to tell you about it tomorrow.

I had something else I wanted to talk about. I walked across the office to put a file in its spot. When I came back, I have no clue. This is like this morning, I thought of something that I need to remember to pack for houseboating when I was in the bathroom. I got back to my desk and gone. I still think that I haven't think of it again. I wish I could remember what I wanted to talk to you about. :-( <--- Tee Hee. He has a nose. I had to go back and put it in.

Woo Hoo. 10 More mins and work is done!

It's a good thing I can bite my tounge. My boss was looking at a piece of paper and asked "who is so&so?" I almost declared "somebody who thinks she is special". But I bit my tounge and went and danced in the copy/file room instead.
I work in a correspondce unit for the government. People write in and we answer their letters. More correct: We tell people under us to answer the letter. We just send it through to the right area. We get more than a few quack jobs who write in. She is one of them. She wants to violate and adoptive family's rights of choosing who gets to interact with thier child just because she is the biological grandmother. There isn't nothing that garantees that blood says you get to see the child. Only the legal parents can choose that. You're own blood children can choose not to let you into the childs life. You can try for a court order but those are usually only granted in exceptional circumstances.

Still 5 more mins. I'm going to shut down now. And pack up early. And go home. I get to go see my kitties. Sam will attack me and Marissa will run. The sheer energy bouncing off of me is going to scare her.

Why does it feel so good to be joyfully manic? For those who don't know there is also irratible manic. That's usually what I get. This is the first time I got giddy manic. I enjoy it. I want to play Sims.