Yesterday was a day. I really don't know what else to call it. I've been mostly stable lately. The weird dreams started again Saturday or Sunday night. I haven't got much sleep since then. The last 2 nights have been completely useless.
Yesterday, I woke up feeling pretty good. It was one of those mornings where you wake up knowing that its going to be a really long day. I wasn't doing bad at work. Mostly I was busy. I had a doctors appointment at 4:30. At about 3 I could feel things start to slip. My mood was dropping fast. My doctor walked into the room and asked how I was. I said "Its a day". She said that I looked pretty sad. While taking the bus home, I was starting to hit the nearly-not-functional portion of depression. Its so hard just to function far enough to not randomly break down while out in public when I'm feeling like that. I walked in the door. I said Hi to Nick and the tears started to well up in my eyes. I couldn't hold them back any longer. Nick finds it very distressing when I start to cry for no reason. And although I was able to hold up the better part of a conversation, tears just kept rolling down my face. I don't entirely understand.
Today, woke up feeling not entirely terribly bad. But today could go either way. Either I'll improve drastically. Or I'll be not functional by the time I get home. Hopefully it's quiet enough at the office today that i can get some english homework done because I may not be in any condition to do any this evening.
The news: We're upping my drugs. Now 250mg per day
The old news: Tomorrow is my last day with the government. Monday I start with the university of Alberta.
News that yet is to happen: My first councilling appointment is next Wednesday
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1 comment:
Just hold it together for another work day, then you can come over for meatloaf! Meatloaf isn't a treatment for depression, it may not even help, but at least it will be meatloaf and a room full of friends.
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